Episode #205 || Resetting Your Journey || Bianca Cotton

Reading Time: 13 minutes
This week’s episode features Mrs. Bianca Cotton.
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Bianca, Founder of Behind the Confident Smile, began this movement to encourage women from diverse backgrounds to HOPE again, be inspired to live their BEST lives and be HEALED from past hurts.
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Bianca is a wife, mommy and a professional hope dealer. The inspiration for ‘Behind the Confident Smile’ came from her own acquired confidence and smile She discovered that her own smile could light up the darkest of places.
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Bianca believes that hope is the BEST substance for all. Bianca is an entrepreneur and author of ‘A Journey Through a Beautiful Mind,’ a collection of poetry that expresses and explores her triumphs and trials.
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Allow the words flowing through her work to bring light to those dark places in your life. Join the movement of women who choose to share their stories of triumphs and tribulations. We all have stories behind our confident smiles. Remember to SMILE.
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Tune in as she shares with us her story about how God pressed the reset button on her journey.

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Enjoy!
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A Special Note From Jaz

Bianca! Queen, I’ve said it before and I will say it again! I appreciate your go-getter attitude and God-given ability to break through barriers and conquer limitations. You are brave and you shine from the inside out. Your smile is the icing on the cake to your kind heart and gentle spirit. I thank God for allowing me to meet someone so inviting and vulnerable enough to just be real about the challenges they are facing and to see you overcome them with grace and ease. It is evidence that you trust Him. God bless you and your many future endeavors. Thank you for you your encouragement, love, and support!
Jaz💖👑
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What is the challenge you faced before God pressed the reset button?

“The first thing that came to mind when I heard that question was CONTROL.
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I had a serious problem with control and wanted to control things. The funny thing is I didn’t realize it. I knew that perfection was a part of my struggle but control is a cousin of perfection and I didn’t know that until July 2013 I went on a two-week exploratory mission’s trip with one of my friends to Nairobi, Kenya. We ended up staying there for seven weeks due to several unforeseen circumstances that were completely out of my control!
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When I say completely out of my control, you can’t control when the airport burns down!
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There’s no more flights available with two seats on them for another five weeks! I said this gotta be God because there’s no way that I could control this situation. That’s when I realized in 2013 that I had a control problem.
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God broke that off of me in those following five weeks while I was still in Kenya. To me, spending seven weeks in Kenya completed a thing in me and I came back with a new beginning and He reseted my journey.”
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What obstacle did you overcome/testimony? What was the pivotal moment in your life thus far that changed everything?

“From then on, God started to deal with me about fear and perfection and control and breaking off worry from me and showing me, “I got you. I need you to be here because there are things you need to get before I release you to go back home.”
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I journaled the whole experience and I had a top ten list of lessons that I’d learned. A few of them is to truly cast my cares on God. I was like, “I got an apartment Lord, how am I  gonna pay my rent if I’m not working, if I’m here in Kenya?” God made it where my rent was paid. My bills were paid. It was just set up so perfectly. I could not have set that up myself!
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Another lesson that I learned was how it feels to be treated like a Queen by Kings. There were my brothers and they took care of us. They felt bad for us that we could not get back home, they took us out to eat, they took us dancing. They took care of us like sisters, like Queens without wanting anything. They weren’t trying to hit on us, they weren’t flirting, it was pure!
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I had not experienced anything like that before. I learned what it means to be a sister in Christ, what it means to know your value and how they treat you. It was beautiful. After that seven weeks, I don’t think I was ready to come home because I enjoyed my time in the Lord there and I feared that when I come home I would lose that connect with God that I just gained.
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I said, “Lord, I need a church home where I can continue to cultivate this, because the church home I was in at the time, I fell a release for it. It was time for me to go so I can grow in the next level in which you called me to.
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When I did return home, God showed me my next church home, which I’m currently at now.
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Another lesson I learned was pray without ceasing. They prayed about everything at any moment. I came back on fire and prayed about everything, everyone, interceding for people in need, people I didn’t know, news stories I heard. I was just turned up for Jesus!
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It was such an electrifying time in my life!
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I cut my hair the last week I was there. It was a representation of an inward doing that Christ did for me. That was another fear that I wanted to release. I was 13-14 and I had a fear about being a black woman with a nose piercing and no hair on her head. I took that leap of faith in Kenya and cut my hair! I felt free! I came back wanting other people to feel that freedom.

How has that shown you the path God has prepared for your life? Steps along your journey.

In five years, God has transformed my life, literally!

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In 2013, prior to me leaving for Kenya, God introduced me to my now husband. I didn’t know he would be my husband. I didn’t really care because I was a lot hurt from my previous relationship and decided to give up dating let God introduce me to my mate. When I cam back home from Kenya, my now husband and I were friends for three years. We never dated because I didn’t want to date and I didn’t even see him that way.

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He was an awesome friend. We knew each other from childhood and we got to know each other really well as friends. No intention no nothing. Within those three years, God began to send prophecy through strangers, through people I went to church with, like, “your husband’s on the way. Your husband’s close. I know who your husband is.” God began it send that word.

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While I was in Kenya, He was purifying my heart, cleaning up me, so that I can be prepared to be the wife that He called me to be.

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Another piece is [again], He had to break fear off of me, break control and perfection off of me. Without those strongholds falling off of me, I would not have married who God had intended for me to marry. I would not have published my first book. I probably would have not went back to school and created my own graduate degree, it’s like who does that?! Right?

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There were several things that I would not have done because of control, fear, and perfection, that would have held me back but because I was released into my purpose while in Kenya and God purified my heart and showing me what His scriptures really mean by placing people around me who walked the scriptures out and lived them out. I can say that because of that seven weeks I was able to leave the church that I grew up in to go somewhere else where I would be able to grow and develop and give and be fed. Then again leave that place because my assignment was up to come into my new home.

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That seven weeks opened up my ears to hear God clearly and be confident that I knew His voice. I knew His voice but I wasn’t always confident in it before 2013.

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So my relationship with God really grew immensely. I began to read scriptures, study scriptures. He started giving me more dreams and visions. My spiritual eyes and mind and heart began to open up ever so clearly.

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I’ll start with marriage. I prayed a specific prayer and I wrote it down in my journal, that God would introduce me to my husband, but as a friend. If you want me to know who he is, fine but if not, fine but I want a real friendship with who I am to marry so I can really get to know who they are and He did that and He answered that prayer. During that time in our friendship, that’s when I started to put my poetry together.

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I started putting it together 2010. I said okay, Lord one day I’m going to publish this book. At that time He started cultivating me. I was reading a lot.

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He was building me up for the work that He called me to now.

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That book, it sat. After I put it together I wasn’t ready to release it because of fear. I didn’t want people to really know who I was and poetry is so intimate. It’s so deep, introspective. Am I really ready to let people know what was on my heart? Am I still dealing with this stuff? Am I delivered?

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So  I kept it. I held on to it until last year when I finally said to myself, “I’m ready to let this go and let this be a healing piece for other women and men.”

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Helping other women who suffer in silence, because that’s what perfection will do to you. “Don’t tell them your problems. You’ll figure it out. You don’t need anyone.” That’s the talk of perfection and suffering in silence which can lead to depression and later on suicide if you let it drive you crazy!

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I needed to release it because I wanted other people to know that they are not alone. You do not have to be quiet anymore about what you are silently struggling with. God did not put you into this earth for you to struggle. I look at it as an opportunity to learn. It’s a lesson behind it, not for you to struggle, not for you to be stressed out, not for you to be in poverty, not for you to be in lack. No, He didn’t call you to be that.

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So last year I was motivated again and I was gonna birth this thing. So I went back to my journal and wrote and asked God for help. He sent a divine relationship.

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On December 5th it became live on Amazon. It came with some challenges. [Now I have two book covers for one book.]

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To use my two covers, one book as a testimony, like, “DON’T LET NOTHING STOP YOU!” Talk about it.

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Fear is the direct attack against your purpose!
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What is the greatness that we are stopping because we feel like we don’t have the money to do what He’s called us to do? The people, we don’t have the right relationships. In hosting the Release the Fear Meet Ups, God has come through every time!
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Can you share your favorite scripture?

Jeremiah 29:11 [NLT]
11 “ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
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“Since childhood, I always wanted to know what God had in store for me. That scripture said that I have a purpose and an expected end for you and it’s good. That’s all I need to know and I keep it movin. “Okay Lord, you said I got a purpose and an expected end. You know how this is gonna end and it’s gonna be good!”
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What do you do daily to let your light shine?

“I smile daily! My smile is a powerful weapon and God continues to reveal to me what my smile really means. My organization, my blog, the movement. A smile brings out happiness and joy in others. I’ve had several strangers approach me and say, “your smile is pretty. Keep smilin’!” and it made them happy, they like seeing your smile just my day and God began to show me, just by you smilin, not even having to say anything if you don’t but your smile is healing people. It’s helping people. It’shealing hearts because sometimes we’re walking around with a frown or a face that we don’t realize that we have on because we are so focused on our challenges our problems which we don’t have, but you see that smiling face and say hmmm maybe life isn’t that bad. You know I am breathing. I do have on clothes. I did eat breakfast this morning. That smile is a reminder to help you be grateful and thankful for what you do have right now.”
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Name (3) things that you would tell your younger self?

  1. You have nothing to worry about.
  2.  Walk with God closely.
  3. Don’t waste your time with relationships that God told you not to even enter into.

 

Why do you love you some you? What makes you extraordinary?

“I made a decision to truly walk in purpose, live in purpose with my purpose without constraints or strains, insecurities and fears. There are levels to this. Once you break through a level of fear there is something else that you need to breakthrough. I am excited that I can continue to break through and not get stuck or feel like I’m stagnated or allow fear to keep me in bondage but that I have the tools that I need to breakthrough!”
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A Journey Through A Beautiful Mind by Bianca Cotton
The Most Important Women In the Bible by Aaron & Eliana Sharp
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10 Seconds of Motivation

“Ladies, Queens, God created you a masterpiece you no longer have to walk around like a broken record.
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Contact Info

About Jasmine Dash 32 Articles
Creative Entrepreneur, Speaker, Author, Leader, Mentor, self-proclaimed, title of, “The Love Queen💖👑,” Jasmine Dash, is the educator of personal development and entrepreneurship, spreading love, joy, and celebration. My 3 favorite things are creativity, makeup/fashion & music! Oh yeah and plus I love to smile and laugh! Get to know more about me{. . .} >>>Click here to [READ MORE]<<<